5 Reasons You Are Not In The Mood

Many couples look forward to a relaxing and sexy evening after a dueling day. But not all are always in the mood. And occasionally, your mood and mind may conflict about whether to engage in sex. Instead of being in the present, these distractions shut your sexual desires, preventing you from engaging in intimacy. But what disorients you at this particular time? Well, here are five reasons you are not in the mood.

1. You have too many things on your mind

Many studies and health experts will tell you the same thing over and over again: having too many things on your mind will drive your sex drive down the drain (pun intended, yes).

Stress and general anxiety tend to change the hormonal balance of your body.

Certain stress hormones will be produced in larger quantities when you are stressed out and this is because the body takes it that you are needing more energy and alertness for problem-solving.

In place of that, sex hormones are reduced greatly because the body takes it that you are in no need for pleasure 'right now'.

At the same time, being anxious and full of worry also won't help in terms of serotonin production.

In an article published on the Health Male blog, it is highlighted that several crucial factors contribute to the attainment of an erection. The nervous system, blood vessels, muscles, hormones, and emotions all play integral roles in this process. Stress and anxiety can have an impact on the production of stress hormones, leading to a decrease in testosterone levels, which in turn affects one's sex drive. Additionally, stress and anxiety can influence the brain's signaling to the penis, potentially affecting blood flow.

So, if you find yourself often stressed, worried, and not in the mood for sex, try to help yourself to relax and breathe first.

2. You have not been nurturing your body properly

Being 'in the mood' for love actually requires the involvement of hormones, right?

What that means is that your body needs to be able to produce the right sex hormones in the right quantities to help your libido levels.

As we all know already, most people in today's world are stuck with dietary habits that are not very healthy for them.

The foods that they eat contain only a very little amount of nutrition and it doesn't even come with many varieties at all--because people tend to stick to eating the same things regularly.

As a result of that, you could be doing your body big disfavour because now it is not functioning properly and you feel like sex is not so exciting anymore.

If your body is lethargic, your mood also tends to go at an all-time low with a sex drive that's also low.

3. You have been neglecting your mental health

In the last decade alone, more people are speaking up about the importance of mental health, which is of course a very welcome thing.

Now as we all know, mental health plays a crucial role in the sustenance and maintenance of our overall well-being.

After all, our physical health is highly affected by the states of mentality we are in.

The more you neglect mental health issues, the more your physical health declines--also due to a whack of hormonal imbalances.

For example, in an article published by UNC Health, it is highlighted that depression often manifests through symptoms such as stress, anxiety, guilt, and low mood. These symptoms can have a profound impact on one's sexual well-being, leading to a decrease in libido and physiological difficulties in arousal and reaching orgasm. Additionally, depression can make it challenging to be fully present and engaged with a partner, as negative thoughts and emotions can interfere with the body's physical response and hinder intimate experiences.

So, if you often find yourself not responding well to a sexual invitation, don't think badly about yourself first, but think if maybe there is some mental lethargy that you're subconsciously battling with.

Horrible job prospects, the death of a loved one, and many other things in life can cause temporary mental health issues and they need to be taken care of just like you would a flu or a sprained leg.

4. You just need to prioritise the more important things spiritually

People have this fallacy thinking that if they are often not in the mood for sex, there must be something wrong with them; they must be sick or something.

There is this notion that everybody is supposed to always be ready and looking forward to sex like civilised animals.

But in truth, there are so many more important things in life than just the readiness or responsiveness to sex.

You may not realise that the reason you are often not in the mood for sex is that on a subconscious level you are trying to discover more meaning to your own life.

People are all spiritual beings and we need to also cater to our spiritual needs--finding a higher purpose in life is just one of those many spiritual needs.

You are not sick and there is nothing wrong with you. You just need to explore life more.

5. You have not communicated something frustrating with your partner

Friction in a relationship often leads to the unwillingness to get intimate with our partner. This is only natural and kind of expected.

After all, you or the other person is holding hard feelings, so it is understandable that you both find it hard to get close physically.

Of course, this can eventually lead to people not wanting to have sex because deep down they still feel negative feelings, whether they are anger, upset, disappointment, or other kinds of grudge.

Before you try to do anything about your lack of sex, you need to address the lack of healthy communication first.

Talk your issues out and express your emotions, hopefully in a diplomatic way so you don't end up fighting unnecessarily.

According to an article published on the Better Health blog, effective communication in relationships enables you to express your experiences and needs to your partner, fostering connection and understanding. Engaging in open and honest communication not only fulfills your needs but also strengthens the bond within your relationship.

So, if you want to have a serious talk, try to be fair and receive feedback calmly but also stand your ground so you don't end up feeling vindicated.

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6. Taking medications

When you are under medication, the treatment could be the reason why you aren’t in the mood.

These tablets work to dim your sexual pulse.

Anti-depression pills such as Valium and Xanax can cause a deep in libido, forcing you to reject all sexual advances.

Besides medicines that regulate pressure and allergy are also effective in killing your sex urge. Blood pressure tablets are diuretics.

This means that they retain water. This retention helps the thin blood to flow through the heart effortlessly, thus stabilizing the pressure.

But it has bad effects on your erection. Since it makes the blood swift, the flow to the small penis muscles and retention in the penis chambers are affected.

As erection is a factor of blood capture in the penis chambers, it’s impossible under the circumstances. Thus your mood falters.

Anti-allergy drugs may help to dry and sedate. The same mechanism also freezes and locks your sexual desire.

7. Marital problems

Sometimes the person who’s supposed to get you into the mood is the one who is extinguishing your libido. So, relationship problems play a significant role in your sexual life.

If your partner always accuses you of laziness and other shortcomings, she drives insecurity in your mind.

And when one partner always feels that the other doesn’t care, or treats them badly, they may resent them inwardly.

This resentment may crawl to the bedroom. Hence, you wouldn’t respond even when they are lying next to you.

You may not open your mind to sex before you address the true cause of this friction. During this time, your mind is also stressed, further complicating the already tense situation.

But not all problems are caused by a nagging or disrespectful partner. Sometimes, it’s the way you view yourself that’s preventing you from kick-starting your mood.

When you are obese, you tend to have a negative outlook on yourself. This assumption kills your mood.